I turned a corner this week. Tuesday afternoon. I had had a series of very bad days. (yes, I’m echoing Alexander and the Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day)
I had cried in the morning. I don’t remember why. Jack had gone out to run some errands and they were taking WAY longer than either of us had expected them to. I was upset and Beanlet was bored. I wanted to crawl into a hole.
I had a to-do list in my brain. I had even prioritized it and made a logical order of tasks.
But I couldn’t bring myself to get my ass of the couch to actually start DOING anything.
I was waiting for people to initiate chats with me on FB. That’s how sad I was. And that activity was not improving anything since the people I did talk to were kind but I was disgusted even typing how I was feeling. I didn’t want to read it. How could I expect anyone else to?
I’m not sure how the light switch got flipped, but it did. I just got sick of feeling that way, sick of wallowing in it, sick of whining and complaining and not doing anything.
I got up, went upstairs, made the bed, folded the laundry, started more laundry. I did the dishes. All of them.
Jack got home to me working my ass off. But at least lighter. Feeling a little better.
That night I felt good. Not great, but good.
And Jack appreciated my effort and saw the change in my mood. And said so.
I feel a little better. A little more in control. And that feels good. I just have to remember to keep it up and keep trying.
Happiness doesn’t always feel happy.
Action is always better than inaction.
Just gotta back that up with action…