I turned a corner this week. Tuesday afternoon. I had had a series of very bad days. (yes, I’m echoing Alexander and the Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day)

I had cried in the morning. I don’t remember why. Jack had gone out to run some errands and they were taking WAY longer than either of us had expected them to. I was upset and Beanlet was bored. I wanted to crawl into a hole.

I had a to-do list in my brain. I had even prioritized it and made a logical order of tasks.

But I couldn’t bring myself to get my ass of the couch to actually start DOING anything.

I was waiting for people to initiate chats with me on FB. That’s how sad I was. And that activity was not improving anything since the people I did talk to were kind but I was disgusted even typing how I was feeling. I didn’t want to read it. How could I expect anyone else to?

I’m not sure how the light switch got flipped, but it did. I just got sick of feeling that way, sick of wallowing in it, sick of whining and complaining and not doing anything.

I got up, went upstairs, made the bed, folded the laundry, started more laundry. I did the dishes. All of them.

Jack got home to me working my ass off. But at least lighter. Feeling a little better.

That night I felt good. Not great, but good.

And Jack appreciated my effort and saw the change in my mood. And said so.

I feel a little better. A little more in control. And that feels good. I just have to remember to keep it up and keep trying.

Happiness doesn’t always feel happy.

Action is always better than inaction.

Just gotta back that up with action…


About Katya

Teetering on the Edge of Crazy but the view's pretty rad out here View all posts by Katya

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