Turnaround

I turned a corner this week. Tuesday afternoon. I had had a series of very bad days. (yes, I’m echoing Alexander and the Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day)

I had cried in the morning. I don’t remember why. Jack had gone out to run some errands and they were taking WAY longer than either of us had expected them to. I was upset and Beanlet was bored. I wanted to crawl into a hole.

I had a to-do list in my brain. I had even prioritized it and made a logical order of tasks.

But I couldn’t bring myself to get my ass of the couch to actually start DOING anything.

I was waiting for people to initiate chats with me on FB. That’s how sad I was. And that activity was not improving anything since the people I did talk to were kind but I was disgusted even typing how I was feeling. I didn’t want to read it. How could I expect anyone else to?

I’m not sure how the light switch got flipped, but it did. I just got sick of feeling that way, sick of wallowing in it, sick of whining and complaining and not doing anything.

I got up, went upstairs, made the bed, folded the laundry, started more laundry. I did the dishes. All of them.

Jack got home to me working my ass off. But at least lighter. Feeling a little better.

That night I felt good. Not great, but good.

And Jack appreciated my effort and saw the change in my mood. And said so.

I feel a little better. A little more in control. And that feels good. I just have to remember to keep it up and keep trying.

Happiness doesn’t always feel happy.

Action is always better than inaction.

Just gotta back that up with action…

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About Katya

Teetering on the Edge of Crazy but the view's pretty rad out here View all posts by Katya

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